From the makers of Kantweldatol® and Drugoffapan® comes the latest in automotive knowledge enhancing drugs…
Designerol5® is an over the counter drug that was specifically developed to turn the most uneducated guy armed with a welder into a full-fledged suspension designer in just 5 days.
- Does your custom air bag setup scare the shit out of you when you drive, but learning how to fix it is only getting in the way of playing video games and besides, you’ve already redone it twice last weekend?
- Are your alignment issues so bad that you destroy $1000 in tires every month, but you keep buying used tires because you’re saving all your spare money for a new pair of designer jeans with fancy stitching on the back pocket?
- Has your girlfriend told you more than once how much she hates riding in your car and has resorted to creating a faction with the political leaders in your town whose main objective is having your car permanently impounded and eventually destroyed?
Well, worry no longer… If this sounds like you then you need Designerol5®
Designerol5® was specifically developed to work faster than any other learning system available and is guaranteed to make you smart as hell. Just one suppository a day for 5 days and you too can be a world class suspension designer… Designerol5® has been proven effective in a double-blind study where one group was given Designerol5® and the other group was given Equipoise for five days. At the end of the study there is no question that the Designerol5® users were far less dumb than the Equipoise users and to top it off they still had a somewhat normal sex drive too.
Is Designerol5® the right choice for you? Of course it is, but don’t take our word for it listen to these testimonials.
Bruce Valance, Santa Monica, CA– I’ve purchased a lot of quick-fix, help-type of suppositories in my time, but nothing that I’ve put up my ass has ever had me thinking as straight as Designerol5! The first batch of pills didn’t seem to do much more than remind me of summer camp, but by the third day I was really starting to see the future. It was like my colon had become an information super-highway connected directly to my brain. By day five I was so excited to get all of that Designerol5 inside me that I didn’t even ask my Dad to help with this batch. I shoved a fist full of Designerol5 directly onto that information super-highway and saw a burst of light showing me Heim Joints, Instant Centers, 1000 thread count Egyptian Cotton and Cantilever J-Arm systems. I only wish that everything that went up my ass was as positive as Designerol5!
Jasper Cogwillows, Gainsville, MO- My truck wuz so bad my dog Bandit wouldn’t ride wit me to the PigglyWiggly anymore. I named him Bandit cuz Smokey and the Bandit is the best movie I ever saw. I thought the monkey wuz funny and the Bandit had a fast car with an eagle painted on the hood I really want an eagle painted on my hood I think it would make my truck faster… After I put Designerol5 in my ass for a few days I got real smart and made me some brand new spension for my truck and now its real fast like the Bandit. Waaa Hoooo!
A guy at a local carshow, Baton Rouge, LA- Designerol5 is the bomb! And by that I mean it gave me explosive diarrhea. But not just any diarrhea. We’re talking true squirts of wisdom here. Just pop it in and you’ll be running back and forth between the metal table and the shop toilet with the best ideas and worst mud butt you’ve ever had. Thanks Designerol5!
Marky “the shiz” Thompson, Terwilliger, OR– My friends all tried to bag their trucks themselves by taking welding classes and helping out at a local shop, but when I heard about Designerol5 I knew they were doing it wrong. After 5 days of Designerol5, I was designing new suspensions for all the kids on my block. My best system utilizes a TommyLift mechanism off a delivery truck, 4 triple convoluted bags from a trash truck and a 472 Cadillac motor for ballast. And all this in the bed of a Nissan Hardbody pickup! Nobody has tried anything like this before because I am the Shiz! I’ve actually applied for a patent to protect my design so don’t try and steal it… Designerol5 is gonna make me rich.
Braiden “T.J.” McDillmanberg, Mall Parking Lot, CA If your like me, than you can get good knowlidge from Designerol5. Even nuns made fun of me cuz I thought a Watts link was a bus connection to go and watch riots (now I know its for hooking up gages and BMW halo lights). It’s like wicked easy. I wake up, ask mom for breakfast, and shove in a Designrol. Just one a day for like almost a week or whatever, and I don’t just feel all smarter, but I’m designing with skillz, bro. We adapted some air bags we took from the neighbor’s cars, and once we get the steering wheels off wer’e gonna show those guys at the lowrider show what hopping really is next week. I like totally never woodof thought of that before Designerol5.
I work at the Walgreens Photo counter for now, but I think my bro Jaiden said Designerol6 is coming with a camera. I’m totally gonna be a photographer, too cuz the best fab dudes write for magazines sometimes and taking pictures makes a story better.
Designerol5® is not for everybody and should not be taken if: you have ever had an original thought, have a history of intelligence, don’t like things in your ass, people like you, your truck is nice, if you simply know better. Also if you are taking any other knowledge enhancing drug and if you are smart enough to read this you should definitely consult a doctor before taking Designerol5®
Designerol5® has been shown to cause dry mouth, headaches, shitty welds, bloody nose, rectal bleeding, cockyness, hair lip, reverse 4-links, throbbing big toe on your left foot, pimply ass, an overwhelming need to cut up your mom’s car, anal chankers, a little spot on your eye can tingle, dizziness, holes cut in your fenders to clear 26s on your doored Toyota, water on the knee and hairy palms. If you have a past history of butchery, you should never take Designerol5®
Special thanks to:
Please tell us about your experiences with Designerol5®